Storytime: A Spiritual Inner Child Healing Experience

These days I've had some really weird energetic experiences. I don’t know if to call it like that, or rather spiritual. It is a combination of meditating every day, being sober... and taking a break from sobriety. I spent 10 days without smoking. I am proud of this progress, as I am mainly doing it for my body’s health.

Selfie of me busking the other day, healing that inner child one song at a time

The other night after having gotten home from my first busking session out on my own in this city, I was so hyper ventilated and tired at the same time that somehow I couldn’t stop thinking. My body and mind were just too awake and energized. 

I decided to “celebrate” my 10 day mark and my first busk out with a few puffs. The night was warm and the stars were out. I could see the Big Dipper, (although, to me it’s a spoon), and I started to feel a connection to it. I know - I must have been just high, but something in this experience hit different. 

I have been meditating for the past month or so on how the energy of divine presence feels in me and around me. And every time, it seemed a bit more tangible. I think smoking that night just heightened my sensitivity. I felt actually connected to so much around me. Not to everything... but definitely to everything that was in my frequency.

The Big Dipper felt so close, so tangibly connected to my energetic field, and the tree beside me also felt connected and close to me. I started feeling a sort of emission running through me and from me outwards, and a slow, gentle, distant energetic intake started to happen too.

I was in a whole other level of high. I don’t think I had ever experienced that before, even after almost 15 years of knowing cannabis quite closely.

While I was still out there feeling the world around me, I hit play on a few recordings I had of me practicing cover songs. I was trying out my new gear, and wanted to see if I could make a perfect take to upload and apply to a few opportunities.

None of my takes was flawless as I had expected them to be… though deep down I “expected” them not to be. I was upset with myself for a few days for not having made the perfect take. I couldn’t even go back to listen again, after noticing all the “mistakes”. 

Listening to them in that state of connectedness... everything was different. I was in awe of my own sound. I felt that my voice was one with the Big Dipper and the tree beside me, and everything that I was connecting to energetically around me. I felt that everything was the same and suddenly my own sound was actually beautiful to me, so beautiful that I couldn’t stop listening.

I relaxed to receiving it as is, instead of hyper focusing on the notes missed, the finger missteps on the guitar strings, the forgotten lyrics. It’s not like I haven’t practiced doing this before: if I hadn’t tried being objective and accepting that I am a work in progress before, I’d probably still be playing in my teenager bedroom with the door locked when no one was home.

But this time, it was different. It was beyond focusing on the highlights and attempting to let the mistakes pass by. It was a spiritual realization that music expresses the heart, and that all hearts are connected, in a field that is beyond our physical perception.

And that whenever we want to see this truth, it is there for us to see.

This felt incredibly healing to my inner child. It happened right before Neptune went retrograde on Friday July 4th.

Neptune is Poseidon, the god of the Ocean. AI generated image.

The Astrology of it: Neptune Retrograde

I couldn't stop thinking about Saturn and Neptune being so close together right now, and how this has both the effect of fogging/blurring reality AND bringing into reality something that is intangible.

Neptune going retrograde can represent an intensification of spiritual experiences. The planet is hyper focused right now, slow as it can be. Neptune's activity is that of approaching us to the realm of Spirit. The ways this can be achieved are multiple and varied. But in all cases, we are opened up to the mysteries of the Universe, to the miracles and the tragedies that are both far and near.

To the realms where time does not exist, and souls keep visiting their loved ones in dreams to signal transitions in their lives. To the presence in the hearts of every single being. To the undistinguishable spiritual unity that is life.

The deepening of this understanding is a Neptune retrograde experience. Even the way the energy was being felt for me in the experience I shared. It was a wave, a radiation that I could feel moving outwards, but then also inwards, slowly.

This experience is an image of Neptune retrograde (July 4th - December 10): The deepening of understanding our interconnectedness.

Neptune in Pisces (2011-2026): Loss, Spirit and Psychedelic Experiences

I believe all plants are medicinal to us, but we have a tendency to abuse that which feels good. And then it no longer feels good. It's a delicate balance.

Pisces is definitely a sign that can experience these kinds of excesses, in an attempt to completely disconnect from reality, responsibility, and accountability. Which is clearly unhealthy. The trick is to be intentional in every single thing we do, and being aware of our intent.

I am in the path right now of only using cannabis in a very intentional way. I definitely fell into the shadow Pisces archetype and let my Moon sign (Pisces) run wild for many years, with the excuse that life was just so hard for me that I "needed it". And I won't water it down, I definitely was going through it. So just in case: no judgements here.

During the years of Neptune in Pisces (2011-2025), I was mostly grieving. Months before Neptune entered Pisces, my mom died of cancer. Awful experience. I also lost my belief system because it lost total meaning to me. I had to start from scratch, not knowing what that was even at 23 years old, with no spiritual guiding light and nowhere to call home. Totally lost in the middle of the ocean. Very Neptunian and Piscean images for you here.

Neptune and Pisces have this quality of total loss and/or surrender. We can see so many beautiful aspects of this energy (dreams, spiritual experiences, intuition, healing, miracles) but most of the time these experiences are not attained, reached or had at all unless there is a great sense of loss, hopelessness, or despair that triggers us to reach out for some kind of Divine Help.

I dreamt of my mother several times in the years after her death. I also had incredible synchronicities and "knowings" happen to me. Things that I can hardly explain but that relieved my heart of heaviness and brought me a sense of cosmic company, a sense of something greater, a Creator or Spirit, a presence or many presences, accompanying my path when I felt the most alone I have ever felt.

Note that Neptune is no longer in Pisces, it has moved to Aries (March 30th) but now that it is retrograde its energy is intensified. Also, Neptune will dip back into Pisces between October 22nd 2025 and January 26th 2026. And then it will stay in Aries for a good 13 years until 2039.

Bear with me, it all makes sense (keep reading).

North Node in Pisces during 2025: Surrender to Healing

What is the North Node?

The North Node of the Moon is a powerful energetic pull that amplifies the energy of the zodiac sign it is in. The North Node does not travel on its own... on the other extreme of the zodiac we will always find the South Node of the Moon.

Both points are the places where eclipses are happening during a time of a year and half to two years.

The fact that we have the North Node in Pisces this whole year, while Neptune and Saturn are so close to one another, retrograding back and forth in the liminal portal between Pisces and Aries ... is quite significant.

And it is the reason why I have shared this story and these personal pieces of my life with you today.

The North Node shows the biggest lesson we are learning collectively. It is actually the most important thing happening behind the scenes of all the other fireworks triggered by the new energies in Aries (Saturn and Neptune), Aquarius (Pluto) and Gemini (Uranus).

Pisces is the ultimate zodiac sign in the sense that it encompasses the whole 12 steps of the cycle, and carries with it the energy of completion and endings. The North Node in Pisces is asking humanity to see beyond the chaos and the tragedies, in order to see the interconnectedness of us all.

It is asking us to let go of the grip we hold on attempting to have things under control because it simply does not make sense to stress over everything that is outside of our control.

It is telling us that if we are able to surrender and trust that everything has a divine reason to be, things will flow because we have learned to lean into a power that is beyond us.

You can interpret that higher power however it suits you, Pisces does not really care about what name you give to that, or how you intellectualize it. It is not about an academic analysis of which belief system is the most valid. This is about seeing beyond every single veil of reality.

It is probably the hardest lesson for us to learn: to Trust the flow. While everything is so crazy around us. But think of this: you understanding that there are no actual boundaries between us, and another person also understanding this, and then another one... subsequently until everybody sees the other as themselves... wouldn't this mean the end of all tragedies?

The principle of "go with the flow" can sound wishy washy and inconsequential. But in it lies the deepest truth of all: universal love as the force that brings everything together. The pain and the beauty that unites us all in this human experience.

I'd love to hear your thoughts. You can comment below, or send me a message.

Also, if you want personalized astrological guidance, make sure to check my offerings here.

May your heart stay open through these times.